Healing from Trauma: Breaking the Myth of Being Broken

Growth

Many people struggle with the belief that they are broken, damaged, or not good enough. But where does this belief come from? No one is born thinking they are flawed—it develops over time through repeated negative experiences. These experiences, known as trauma, can take many forms. Trauma may stem from events like abuse or assault, or from the absence of essential emotional needs such as attunement, affection, and attention.

While some individuals develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Complex PTSD, trauma affects everyone differently. Two people may go through the same event, such as a natural disaster, yet have completely different emotional responses. One person may experience it as deeply traumatic, while the other sees it as something that happened and has now passed. As Dr. Peter Levine explains in Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey, “Trauma is not so much what happened to us but what we hold inside in our minds and bodies in the absence of that present, connected, and empathic other.”

The good news? Humans can't be broken. Like trees, we withstand harsh storms—our leaves may fall, we may bend, but we remain standing. Healing is possible. The healing process varies from person to person—it can be short or long, depending on your unique experiences. However, it all begins with healing your relationship with yourself.

Steps to Healing from Trauma

1. Transform Your Self-Talk

Healing starts with changing the way you communicate with yourself. Your intrapersonal communication—self-talk, internal dialogue, and imagined interactions—plays a crucial role in your self-esteem and confidence. When you shift your internal narrative to one of self-compassion and understanding, you create a foundation for healing. The more you know and accept yourself, the better you will feel.

2. Learn to Tolerate Emotions and Body Sensations

Understanding and accepting your emotions and physical sensations is key to healing. Many trauma survivors disconnect from their feelings or fear their body's responses, leading to depression, anxiety or panic attacks. Learning to interpret and sit with these sensations—rather than avoiding or fearing them—is essential for emotional regulation and well-being.

3. Develop Healthy Relationships

A healthy relationship is one in which you feel safe being your true self—sharing your thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities without fear of rejection. It’s important to have people in your life who reassure you that you are not broken. True intimacy is about being known and accepted, not just physical closeness.

4. Build Meaningful Connections

Surviving trauma can feel isolating, especially if you see yourself as broken, different, or unworthy. This mindset often leads to withdrawing from others or forming relationships that reinforce negative beliefs. However, connection is a fundamental human need. Finding a supportive community and allowing yourself to be part of something bigger can be deeply healing.

5. Share Your Story in a Safe Space

Talking about your experience with someone you trust—a partner, friend, or therapist—can be a powerful step toward healing. This process allows you to explore what happened, how it shaped your self-perception, and how it continues to affect you. However, it’s crucial to share at your own pace and on your own terms. Honoring your autonomy in this process is a key aspect of reclaiming your sense of self.

What Does It Mean to Heal?

Healing from trauma is not about erasing the past but about reclaiming your wholeness. When you heal:

You feel at home in your own body.

You can experience emotions—both positive and negative—without becoming overwhelmed.

You allow yourself to have helpful, compassionate thoughts rather than being consumed by negativity. You let the negative thoughts go.

You recognize and understand bodily sensations without fear or avoidance.

You no longer use busyness as a way to suppress thoughts and emotions.

Ultimately, healing allows you to acknowledge, “These things happened to me, but they do not define me. I am whole, worthy, and valuable.”

You Have the Power to Heal

As a therapist, my goal is to support and encourage your innate ability to heal. No matter where you are in your journey, know that you are not broken—you are becoming whole.